Saturday, April 9, 2016


A to Z Challenge: C

Well, that's great. Two letters in and I drop the ball. I'm not surprised. I've been dealing with much conflict and it has not proven to be productive. So now I'm trying to catch up.

Conflict is something that all writers should be familiar with. Conflict is the driving force of any good story. Characters have conflicts with themselves, each other, mother nature. Characters have conflicts with things out of their control.

Real humans, us, writer or not, have the same conflict. Right now I'm struggling with myself. I'm not usually a person that will speak of my faith or religious beliefs in a public forum. Suffice to say though, the last few months, I've been praying. Crying, praying, crying more, praying more. Looking for that light. The conflict is that I made a choice several months back to do something, and since, the struggle to try to achieve what I wanted or hoped as not gone at all the way I'd hoped or even somewhat hoped.

Brick walls everywhere. Come the beginning of May, and this is the truly fearful part, it will most certainly all crash down, what's left of the walls. They've been crumbling, but I haven't broken through. Come May, I fear they will crash down but not because I finally broke through, but because there is nothing left.

So now I wrestle with decisions I've made, paths I've chosen. There's no quick fix. There's no looking back. I'm both my own protagonist and my own antagonist, battling myself.

May's around the corner and I've run out of time. The conflict will climax, but what will the results be? I almost don't want to see. I anticipate the worst of course, and my hope and faith cups are pretty empty at this point. But there's always a "maybe things will work out."

Right now, all I can do is move on to letter D.

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