Saturday, April 9, 2016

Fartin' Around

A to Z Challenge: F

Well, it appears that while swimming in my angst and conflict this week, not producing the letters on the days necessary did, in fact, get my booted for the blog sign up list for the A to Z Blog Challenge. No one to blame but myself for that. I knew that missing five letters in a row would get me booted. I guess I had hoped that while I had a chunk of time to sit down and catch up, I'd actually be able to catch up.

Hmmm. I am continuing anyhow. Being a former journalist, deadlines and the importance there of, you think, would resonate with me. They have, but I am also a procrastinator. I've spent too much time as of late just fartin' around, not doing what I should be doing, not doing what I need to do, and now here I sit, shaking my head.

I'm not one of those writers who "write every day," as if you can't already tell that. Shameful, I know. The first thing you'll learn in any creative writing class, in any workshop, by any famous writer, is that you have to write every day.

Me? I chose to fart around every day. I get too caught up in my thoughts, trying to logically sort stuff out that I have to fix, and that taints my ability, more often than not to actually churn out productive writing stuff.

How I've managed to even get published is beyond me. How I've won a few contests, I'll never know. At some point, I've sat down and obviously written every day; edited, revised, had beta readers and all that.

This was not my original F topic, but I felt suspicious in my lacking of producing the scheduled alphabet, and upon further research, I called myself out with my lazy behavior (checking the blog list to see if I was removed).

I guess it doesn't matter to note that the last week, I've spent it teaching, working, and job hunting? And yet, it only takes a minute, doesn't it? To sit down and type out a blog post. Sometimes a minute; if you are like me and write on the fly most of the time.

The blogging gods are shaking their fingers at me. I get it. Lesson learned. I suck at committing. I should be committed, speaking of that word. Ha. Not really, but yeah, lesson well learned. I need to be more diligent, as I once was in life, at following through with stuff.

My original F was failure. Being one. Becoming a. The essence of. The concept of. I guess the same applies here: fartin' around can lead to failure.

Okay, done beating myself up. Time to dust off the stones and dirt and just continue on. I'll finish out the month because now I have to. I'm pissed enough at myself, and while I've mildly failed at this point, I don't want to fail altogether. I don't want to fail so much and so deep that I can't pick myself back up and dust off the stones and dirt; and yes, this is a small comparison to my actual life as well and where I currently am.

And spellcheck will highlight "learned," but not "fartin'"... interesting.

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